Remus and Tonks: How it all began
by DazedInReality
Summary: Quiet and tortured Remus Lupin and spirited and carefree Tonks, how could love have happened? This fanfic is the unwitten tale behind their love, filling in the gaps that J.K left out, starts from when RL leaves Hogwarts after he resigns in the 3rd year.
1. Chapter 1

Remus Lupin sat alone in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express staring silently into the rain. It was almost the end of term and though it had been brilliant sunshine when he had left the station at Hogsmeade, the further south the train travelled the worse the weather became.

Remus breathed out a long sigh that no one but himself could hear, he was thinking of Harry's face when he had skidded through the classroom door and asked if it was true that he was leaving. It was nice to be missed, to be wanted. Other then his marauder Hogwarts friends and his parents, Harry was probably the only person who had ever genuinely wanted him in their presence. Though he couldn't blame them, a werewolf wasn't very good company; especially around the full moon, Remus shuddered when he thought of how much danger he had put the students and staff at Hogwarts in.

That had been his initial reason for resigning, but it wasn't the only one. He didn't think he could stand looking in Albus Dumbledore's eyes, that penetrating blue gaze and seeing the disappointment and the anger. No resigning was the honourable thing to do, the only thing to do since Snape had let the cat or more accurately the wolf out of the bag. There would be a flurry of panic among the parents. He didn't blame them, not after the last fiasco under the full moon. And among the students themselves, oh there would be those such as Harry, Ron and Hermione and to be fair most of the Gryffindors, that would not care but all in all the thought of being close to a werewolf would cause too much of a panic to teach the students anything of use.

Remus closed his eyes as the guilt for his betrayal of Dumbledore first as a boy then as a man washed over him, he had too much pride to allow himself to be sacked, he liked to bow out gracefully though even he had to admit that his quiet exit could be considered cowardly. Remus scoffed at himself bitterly. Cowardly, he thought, even a Gryffindor can be a coward, but then no Gryffindor had been spurned all their life for something that wasn't their fault, something that was just as much a disease as cancer. Living your life being hated is one thing but living it alone… Remus sighed to rid himself of a painful ache in his throat that had begun to form, if he didn't know better he would have sworn that a dementor was near with how depressed he felt.

Just when he thought he had it all worked out, Remus thought bitterly, a job, a home, steady income and not to mention being back at a place where the best memories of his life were made. And then there was Harry himself, his best friend's son. Harry Potter; the boy who lived.

The world worshipped him as a hero and yet the boy for all his courage and talents only ever seemed to see his apparent flaws and inadequacies. How Remus wished James had survived to see the young man his son was, how proud he would have been, Remus himself had gotten quite a jolt when he had first met Harry, then another one when he realised how wonderful the boy really was.

Remus yawned widely and winced as a long cut that marred the side of his face split, he touched the tip of his finger to it and pulled it back to see it stained red. Another horrible blow about leaving Hogwarts was now having no Snape to concoct the wolf bane potion, he was able to do it himself but with such little money to buy the supplies, most of the time he simply had to go through the pain of his transformation. This change was the most memorable of his life, the night he finally saw his best friend again, found him to be innocent, was sure they were going to be able to clear his name and then he changed. It was his fault Peter had escaped, had he taken his potion they might have still stood a chance of holding him or at least recapturing him.

Thanks to Harry once again Sirius escaped and was now on the run with Buckbeak the Hippogriff no less, Remus smirked, he had been able to teach him something of worth at least. And how strange that Harry, without knowing his father's animagus form was a stage, produced a patronus in that form, how very strange. Strange, Remus mused, but utterly appropriate.

Harry was identical to his father in nearly everyway, except his eyes, he had fair Lily's eyes, emerald green and brilliant. He united all the best traits that his father had held, perhaps not as skilled academically as James but he made up for it for not having that certain over-confidence (arrogance some called it) that James tended to possess in his youth. He battled on through trials and tribulations thrown at him all year and, Remus thought with a grimace, Severus Snape was without a doubt one of those pressing trials.

The hatred of the father had passed on to the son with an intensity that quite shocked him, though why he didn't know since Snape had always been a piece of work. Not that he always deserved what he got, the two most prominent marauder's, James and Sirius had gone out of their way to bully Snape at times but Snape was by no means an innocent party. Remus clucked his tongue as he thought over all the slippery, devious ways Snape and his little band of would-be death eaters had tried to get them in trouble.

Sirius, who he remembered was always prone to over doing it a bit, had most definitely done wrong, there was no excuse for his actions in the sixth year. Remus stilled thought of it a times and broke out in a cold sweat. What if Severus had got all the way through the tunnel and been bitten, another life ruin by this miserable curse.

However much Snape hated it, the fact remains that if James Potter had not risked his life by going after Severus and pulling him out the outcome would have been very bad indeed. For all parties involved.

Remus felt a small twinge in the region of his heart as he thought of his old friend and of his son who he was sure would have acted in exactly the same way for anyone, enemy or no.

He watched a bird fly lazily across the sky and thought of Sirius and Buckbeak, he wondered when or in fact if he would see his friend again. He hoped so.

"Would you like anything to eat, Professor?"

Remus looked up, it was the plump trolley lady, she didn't have a trolley with her but she smiled at him kindly. It was obvious the rumour of his condition had not spread this far just yet, Remus smiled back and shook his head though his stomach rumbled, but he was used to it. An outcast had best get used to unsheltered nights and hungry days.

Rubbing a weary hand over his prematurely lined face and through his greying hair, Remus longed for a miracle of some sort. Some good luck to befall him, for at that moment with the rain beginning to turn from a light drizzle to a lashing pelt, Remus thought of his future and he saw trouble coming.

Peter exposed and gone, Voldemort out there somewhere in need of a faithful servant …. Trouble was coming and this werewolf was pretty sure he would be wrapped firmly in its centre when it came. For now whether he knew it or not Harry Potter was going to be marked by the said trouble and as his father's friend he could do no more then face it with him.

"And hopefully defeat it," he muttered.

The train began to slow and Remus looked up, he was at Kings cross. Fleeting memories of him as a schoolboy ran through his mind, but those days were gone and shaking his head Remus made his way on to the platform, where he stood bags in hand, wondering what to do next.


	2. Chapter 2

**(This chapter starts at the end of Harry's fourth year when Dumbledore sends Sirius to round up what's left of the old order. I think its important to see interaction between Sirius and Remus as they are all that's left of what was a great friendship so this chapter is dedicated to them.)**

Remus stared blankly at Sirius for a long moment, his brain feeling like a sponge, soaking up all the information he had spewed on to him since Sirius's arrival in the early hours of Sunday morning.

Even though he was staring at the pale, gaunt face of his friend he was having trouble believing that he was there and what was being said, to give himself thinking time Remus stood up and walked to the French doors that led out from his study to the garden. Leaning against the door frame he looked up into the still dark sky.

"And Fudge doesn't believe him? Even with Dumbledore's support he doesn't believe him?" Remus asked incredulously, not bothering to look over his shoulder at Sirius who was sitting at the wooden table.

"Nope. Thinks Harry is demented and seeking attention," Remus glanced back at the suppressed fury he heard in his friend's voice.

"The fool! How can he stand back and let this happen again?"

"Dumbledore said near enough the same thing to him, but he wasn't having none of it. Just blustered a lot and walked out." Sirius sighed dejectedly, "well, no one ever accused Fudge of having a brain … or being brave for that matter."

"True enough," Remus agreed and both lapsed into silence, into deep thoughts that Remus doubted he could put into words if he tried.

He had gotten off the Hogwarts Express two years ago and unable to find any immediate work came to his parents house in Cornwall. The werewolf bite he had received as a child had galvanised Jonathan Lupin into action, he had located an isolated and cheap piece of land and built on it a lovely home. Knowing his son would forever be cast out of good society and treated like a leper, he had wanted a secluded retreat from the world for Remus, where he could stay and rest when the world got too tough; Remus had used it many times over the years but none more frequently then the two years subsequent to his resignation from Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If it had been treated and cared for better the house would be very grand indeed, but owing to lack of funds it had fallen in to disrepair and hadn't been refurbished since before his parents had died and that hadn't been so long after he left school.

Unlike Sirius who had always hated the home he had grown up in, Remus had dearly loved his and even when times had been most dire and he had no money, Remus had starved rather then part with the house; he couldn't bring himself to sell the last remaining legacy of his parents. Remus touched the white doorframe that was in need of a repainting then looked back at Sirius who was staring silently at his hands.

His eyes still carrying the deaden look given to him by Azkaban, with a heart wrenching tug of guilt for having disbelieved his friend for all these years, Remus rejoined him at the rickety table. His study room which was a strange octagonal shape had four of the walls covered in floor to ceiling bookshelves, a table with four chairs, a majestic marble mantel and fire place and over the dark green wall paper were two magnificent portraits of his mother and father. The room was just as it had been after his mothers death, with the exception of a thick layer of dust blanketing the winged armchairs and most of the surfaces in the room.

"So what happened after Fudge left?" Remus asked then cleared his throat hearing how hoarse and shaky his voice seemed, even though he was strangely not as unnerved about the events as he should be. Perhaps it will hit him once he has time to really think about it.

Sirius gave a sigh. "He asked Molly Weasley if she and Arthur could be relied on to help, of course she said yes. Then Bill, her eldest went to inform Arthur. Something about connections in the ministry."

Remus nodded sagely. "Yes, I can see why Dumbledore would want the Weasley's on side. Pure blood family, old as the hills and Arthur might be lower then the dishwasher at the Leaky Cauldron work wise but he's very popular. People owe him favours and he's a good man, people will listen to him. He'd be a perfect choice for spreading the word like poison through the ministry network."

Sirius looked impressed and Remus knew that Sirius hadn't really given much thought to Arthur Weasley before this, his mind, and quite rightly so, was still occupied with his godson.

"Then what?" He prompted and Sirius jerked out of a daze.

"Then when Dumbledore - I mean Bill - left, Merlin I'm tired! When Bill left he said that it was time that we know each other if we're on the same side, or something like that and asked me to transform."

Remus gave a wry smile, "bet that went down well."

"Like a treat. Molly damn near screamed the hospital wing down -"

"You always liked to cause a scene, Sirius," Remus muttered and Sirius huffed a laugh before continuing.

"And Snivellus Snape looked like someone had used his wand for firewood."

"Severus was there?" Then Remus gave himself a mental shake, of course he as there, Dumbledore trusted him deeply.

Sirius curled his lip in disgust and nodded. "And Dumbledore made me shake his hand!" He gave a mock shudder and Remus grinned.

"Then what?" he asked his grin fading slightly.

"Told me to lie low at your place and to round up the old order. Figgy and Dung and all the old lot that fought last time."

Remus blew out a breath and the reality of the situation suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks sliding into his stomach.

"So its really happening again," he murmured quietly, almost to himself. "The second war has begun."

Sirius who was never prone to outward shows of affection reached across the table and gripped his hand, Remus looked down at the two rough hands, not boys anymore, now men, who had seen too much and done too much for them to live with any real piece of mind anymore. Remus slapped his other hand over Sirius's and gave a sad smile.

"Forgive me, Padfoot." Sirius looked somewhat uncomfortable as he drew back to his side of the table.

"There's nothing to forgive, Remus and I am insulted that you would try and take the blame for this!" Sirius it seemed did not notice his voice had turned into a growl and Remus felt for a moment as if he had been flashed back in time and was sitting by the Gryffindor common room fire instead of his own. "If we are to lay blame lets put it squarely where it belongs on Voldemort and on that worthless piece of scum, Peter! We have too much to do to start feeling guilt and pity for ourselves and over things that cannot be changed! Remus … Harry is all that matters now."

Remus nodded, "your right. Of course you are … Harry is the only thing left of James and Lily, it must have been horrible seeing him come out of the maze like that, him looking so much like James." Sirius nodded his understanding and Remus nodded to, looking at the steel grey sky that would be slowly turning to a dusky pink as the sun rose fully.

"It was for me when I saw him struggling with the Dementors, it reminded me of James and I had the urge to sit there and talk to him as I would James, you know. And then as time move on I realised that this boy, who will soon be a man may look like his father and yet … and yet …"

Remus trailed off but Sirius still nodded.

"I know, Remus. He is very much his father's son but he is a person in his own right, so similar but completely different. It gave me a bit of a jolt too."

Remus laughed and took out his wand and flicked it to a dark wood cabinet standing opposite them.

"Accio glasses! Accio fire whiskey!"

The glasses and a large bottle zoomed out of the cupboard and settled themselves before Remus who cleaned them of dust with a wave of his wand and then poured liberal amounts of fire whiskey into each. He presented one to Sirius who was grinning and Remus was momentarily taken aback by how much of his old self was still there, shining through at odd moments.

And with the dawn breaking a deep golden through the clouds to herald the opening of another summers day, Remus raised his glass and Sirius mirrored his actions and tapped the lip of the glasses against one another.

"To Harry Potter, the Heir of James and Lily Potter, may his road be easy," Remus toasted and gave Sirius a droll look when he snorted cynically.

"And to us," Sirius toasted, inclining his head to Remus who felt his heart do a funny hop, "the last of the marauders."

It was sad and it was sombre but they drank their first sip as the sun finally painted the whole inside of the study gold, thinking once more of the troubles waiting for them while the whiskey burnt their throats and the calm morning commenced to the sound of birdsong.


	3. Chapter 3

_Remus yawned and looked over at Sirius, who if it were possible looked more tired and miserable then he did since first coming back to twelve, Grimmauld place. Being back in his old family home did not lie well with his friend and Remus, looking around the dreary walls, could see why. It was bleak and decayed, under the layers of rot and festering filth was a house once in its prime and home to one of the most prominent pureblood wizarding families in the country and the Blacks had been very proud of that fact._

_When they had been at school with each other Sirius had never brought up the topic of visiting or staying at his house over the holidays and did in fact spend the Easter holiday of their fifth year at Hogwarts, not surprisingly in his sixth year he ran away from home and lived with James and his family. Remus had longed for the best part of their friendship to ask Sirius why he had done so, what had been so bad? But he had thought it tactless and as Sirius refused to broach the subject Remus took his lead from him and didn't do so either. _

"_I can't believe this!" Sirius burst out suddenly, his fists clenched upon the table, "I'm going to talk to Dumbledore when he comes here, he'll be here any minute!" And he craned his neck to see the clock on the opposite wall of the kitchen. _

"_Sirius," Remus began in a placating tone, you had to be careful how you worded things with him, he'd always been a moody creature, Remus thought, even at school. "Dumbledore's right! You can't go walking around the streets of London, for Merlin's sake, you're a wanted man!"_

"_I can disguise myself very effectively, Remus!" Sirius barked back._

"_And Voldemort has already got wind of you being an animagus! Peter wouldn't have kept quiet, you know that. Come on, its not all bad. Like Dumbledore says, Voldemort can't conceal the fact he's come back forever, he'll eventually come out into the open, he'll slip up someway and then you'll be a free man."_

"_And how long will that be!" Sirius shot back, "a month? A year? I've swapped one prison for another, stuck inside this … this - place!" Sirius lowered his head to his hands and moaned. "I hate being here, Remus. I hate being back."_

_Remus reached across and grasped his shoulder and gave it a comforting shake, but he could feel the anger radiating from him, he was clenching and unclenching his fists like he would like nothing more then to have them around someone's throat. And at this moment he could bet that someone had a long white beard and a crooked nose._

"_How can I protect Harry if I can't even leave this bloody house?" he grumbled then gave the kitchen sink a contemptuous look. "It not even fit to live in. I'm no use to anyone."_

"_Shut up feeling sorry for yourself, Sirius!" Remus changed tactics quickly and his voice became firm and commanding. "You've done more then any of us at the moment. You've given us a place to start up the Order again, we're more prepared then we could ever hope to be in light of what's happened! Thanks to you we have a safe house, and from here we can work with - with - military precision because you've given us a base!"_

_Sirius sighed gloomily and Remus pursed his lips before saying in a voice more suited to him more, quiet; a voice of reason. "Sirius, you've got to snap out of this. Harry will need you now more then ever, if you don't pull yourself together how will he ever be able to. He looks up to you like the father he never had, now its time to step into James's shoes the way he would have wanted you to."_

_Sirius rubbed a thoughtful hand over his stubble and glanced over at Remus who smiled, knowing with satisfaction he'd hit the right spot. "James wouldn't have asked you to be godfather to Harry if he didn't trust you to guide his son when he couldn't."_

_Sirius gave a small laugh, "your quite sneaky aren't you, Moony?" he said, "your right. I failed James and Lily once, I can't let that happen again!"_

_Remus nodded approvingly and the bell on the front door sounded and both men groaned and cringed at the expected explosion of sound._

"_I'll get the door," Remus mumbled and scooted his chair back from the table at the same time as Sirius._

"_I'll go stun my mother," Sirius said and Remus snorted with laughter before walking out the kitchen door and into a dark mouldy hallway, he moved carefully around the trolls leg umbrella stand and towards the door, wincing as Mrs Black screeched at the top of her painted lungs. _

_Sirius rushed forward to the painting that was usually hidden behind dusty velvet curtains, the woman behind usually lay dormant but at the sound of any loud noise, and said curtains flew back and Mrs Black erupts. A yellow skinned old woman in a black cap resides behind the velvet drapes and as Remus passed she foamed more violently at the mouth._

"_Blood traitor mongrel!" She screamed as if she were being burnt at the stake, "filth! Vileness! Corrupter of my most ancient house! Werewolf, dog! Freakish half breed! Flea bitten, putrid -"_

"_Lovely to see you again, Mrs B," Remus shouted politely over her ranting, this seemed to enrage her more and she flew into a violent frenzy, throwing herself against her canvas in attempt to get to him. _

_Remus quickly pulled out his wand and unbolted the door magically, it swung open to reveal several people. The first and most conspicuous of all was Albus Dumbledore._

_With his long shining silver hair and beard, crooked nose and robes of deep purple with shooting stars over them, he could not look more out of place. Remus stood back and allowed Dumbledore to move in through the now silent hallway - Sirius had successfully and with relish stunned his mother. Next came Kingsley Shacklebolt, a tall bald headed black man, Remus grinned at him and he walked on so Mad-eye Moody could limp in, then, and Remus's grin turned into a grimace, Severus Snape._

_Snape looked the same as he did the year he let it slip to the Slytherins that Remus was a werewolf, Remus raised an amused eyebrow when Snape swept past him like an overgrown bat in his usual billowing black robes, his face sneering. Remus didn't turn to see either of their faces when they met in the hallway but concealed his grin when he heard a muffled exchange of words then Snape stamp into the kitchen after Dumbledore and Sirius's evil chuckle following him._

_Pulling up at the rear was someone Remus had never seen before and for a moment he was lost for words. If Dumbledore was the most conspicuous person, this young woman was a close second, she had a pale heart shaped face, that was quite pretty when you got to look at it properly, however that could take some time as Remus found his eyes immediately drawn to the hair atop her head. It was cut short in a sleek cap that fell over one eye, however it was a eye-watering shade of violet. Her clothes were not witches robes yet nor did they seem correct muggle attire, she wore tight ripped black jeans with chains hanging at her waist from a shiny dragon buckle belt that he knew for a fact came from a shop in Hogmeade (he had once admired it himself but didn't buy, first for having no money and second because he felt too old for it)._

_Her red shirt looked as if it had been deliberately torn in two, the bottom half discarded so she could show off her pale midriff, it had small gnashes over the chest area and Remus tried hard not to stare at glimpses of black lace beneath it. Over this she wore a rather worn denim jacket also black though Remus had to wonder whether she had shrunk it and if so on purpose? The cuffs stopped just above her elbows and the hem just at her ribcage. She smiled brightly._

"_Wotcher!" she said and then looked at him expectantly, Remus caught himself and backed up so she could come in, as she moved over the threshold she tripped and Remus reached down to steady her. _

"_Whoops! Careful now," he muttered and she straightened up, instead of being embarrassed, she dusted off the one knee she had fell on and laughed._

"_I try to be but I'm so clumsy, I can trip over the shadow of my wand, I tell you!"_

_Remus laughed lightly and made a mental note to make sure she didn't trip over anything else, he gave the innocently hanging curtains a furtive glance. _

"_You might want to be careful," he warned her shutting the door and guiding her towards the kitchen door, "you make too much noise in this place and it sets off the entire gallery they've got stuck up on the walls."_

"_Oh right," the young woman cast a quick look around and Remus noticed that her foot just missed the umbrella stand. She turned her head back to look at him with interest._

"_Are you Sirius Black then?" she inquired and Remus laughed and shook his head._

"_No, I'm Remus Lupin, I'm a friend of Sirius's," He said and noticed her eyes widen just slightly as if she suddenly realised who he was, of course Dumbledore must have told her about him and his … condition. _

"_This is -" he led her through the kitchen door and both of them suddenly froze, shocked by the scene before them. "Him," Remus heard himself say, but his eyes were fixed upon Snape and Sirius who both were standing up on opposite sides of the kitchen, wands out with looks of utter hatred etched deeply into both faces, Mad -eye had Sirius's wrist of his wand hand raised upwards so he could not get at Snape and Dumbledore was in front of Snape blocking his view of Sirius._

_Dumbledore looked past Snape's shoulder, "ah Remus, Nymphadora, please come in. Alastor and I were just helping Severus and Sirius settle a dispute. Its all over now though."_

_Remus could not stop himself raising a sceptical eyebrow and noticed that Nymphadora, next to him had done the same, they moved cautiously into the room and Remus kicked the door lightly shut. He saw Nymphadora's eyes scan the room and she frowned, he thought he knew the reason of her puzzlement._

"_Where's Kingsley?" He asked just as said man came walking gingerly into the room and sat down wincing. "What happened?"_

"_My er - curse," Sirius said grimacing and rubbing the back of his neck guiltily. "Kingsley moved in front of Snape .."_

_Remus rolled his eyes and shook his head, they all then began to move towards the table and sit down around it. Sirius was at one end and Snape at the other with all the rest of them in between Remus felt the tension rise steadily._

"_Makes no kind of sense," Nymphadora muttered, "all on the same side."_

"_I quite agree," exclaimed Dumbledore giving her a smile that he reserved when a student had answered a difficult and complex question._

"_Can't help hating who you hate, Dumbledore," Moody growled reasonably and Remus had to agree with him, he might be the more tolerant of the two but it didn't mean he liked Snape any better then Sirius. _

"_My feelings exactly, Mad-eye," Sirius said, eyeing Snape as though he were something foul left at the bottom of the toilet. Snape looked as if he were about to open his mouth but Dumbledore hastily cut over him._

"_To business," Dumbledore placed both elbows on the table and pressed each fingertip to its mate and surveyed the table of people before him over the top of his hands. "There will be more coming shortly but I think that as you all have rather singular jobs to do it might be alright if we proceed without them."_

_He paused and his eyes fell on Sirius. "It is no longer safe you to go out Sirius, you must confine yourself here for all time now. Do you understand?"_

_Sirius paled, "Surely Dumbledore there are things I can do? Ways I can help?"_

"_Sirius, you are an able and competent man. A brilliant wizard but you will be no use to us on the other side of Azkaban walls, which is what will happen if you leave the safety of this house. You've already been of use to us by providing the order with a headquarters."_

_Again Sirius opened his mouth to argue but Dumbledore raised a hand terminating all discussion on the subject, Remus felt for his friend and wished there was something he could do but Dumbledore was right and even if Sirius was angry at him for agreeing with him, he'd rather face Padfoot's wrath then see him in the hands of dementors. _

"_Leave it, son," Moody growled, while Kingsley nodded next to him, "Albus is right. Use your common sense."_

_Sirius swallowed and nodded, beside Dumbledore Snape was smiling nastily, even when Dumbledore addressed him._

"_Severus at the moment Harry is safe but we need to know every move Voldemort plans to make against him. I believe that after the events during the last school term Voldemort has made Harry more vulnerable to attack, he has - ah - greater access to him, so to speak."_

"_Greater access how?" Remus cried at the same moment Sirius shouted, "vulnerable how?"_

"_By using Harry's blood to regenerate himself he has weakened the protection I placed around him in his first year of birth, though not destroyed it - no you can't destroy love." he added in a barely audible whisper and Remus narrowed his eyes as something unreadable and fleeting moved over Severus's face._

"_We need to know all Severus, do you understand?"_

"_Anything I can do, Headmaster,' - his eyes flicked to Sirius - 'to be of use.'_

_Sirius didn't respond but it was a close call, Remus watched tensely as his wand hand gave a tremor. If Dumbledore noticed this he gave no inclination that he did so and carried on._

"_Remus," his eyes now settled on him and Remus resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably, the penetrating blue stare had the power to both comfort and make uneasy. "I believe you have made some useful contacts within the werewolf community?"_

_Remus nodded, remembering the family of werewolves he had met the year he resigned, they like himself, had tried to live amongst ordinary wizards and witches._

"_Yes, Lykamedes Phoebotimus and his wife and daughter. He's a good man with many contacts in the werewolf community."_

_Dumbledore nodded. "It will be a good idea for you to get in contact with him, surely by now he will have heard of Voldemort's return. They all will, the werewolves were once great allies to the Death eaters. Voldemort will be looking to them to build up his army amongst other dark creatures."_

_Remus felt his temper bristle slightly, "I assure you Dumbledore, not all of the werewolves are in favour of Voldemort. Not all will follow him."_

_Out the corner of his eye Remus saw Sirius's lips twitch._

"_If I believed any differently, Remus, you would not be in the order and I would not be asking you to gather supporters for our side amongst your fellow wolves."_

"_Is that what he's doing the Professor?" Nymphadora asked quietly, her eyes wide. "He's going to build an army?"_

"_I certainly believe so, and this time it will be much easier to do if people refuse to believe he has returned and therefore will not be on their guard against him and his death eaters."_

"_Don't worry, Nympha - I mean Tonks -" Kingsley hastily corrected himself when she scowled, "we're much better prepared then we were last time, the order I mean. And we have the added bonus of having new blood in the order like yourself."_

_She nodded pensively but before she could say anything else the clanking of the door bell sounded through the house followed by shrieks from Mrs Black. Kingsley got up and went to open the door. After few minutes the basement kitchen was full to the brim with old faces and new ones, Emmaline Vance, Mungungus Fletcher, the Weasleys, Arabella Figg with a black and white cat in tow and a variety of other people._

_Dumbledore smiled benignly at all of them and then his smile turned grim and he remarked in a low grave voice that only few heard._

"_And so it begins. The Order of the Phoenix is once again needed. The war against the dark side is upon us all."_

_Remus felt a chill of foreboding race down his spine and he turned his head to see Nymphadora Tonk's wide eyes and serious face and before he could think better of it he reached down and gave her hand a kind, comforting squeeze. She turned her head and smiled before slipping her hand out of his grip._

"_Well, then lets get this party started," she said brightly, most people looked her way and chuckled, the solemn atmosphere suddenly disintegrating in the wake of this odd, vibrant haired girl. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks to the readers and reviewers, keep reviewing plz_

Remus stood silently under Mad-eye Moody's invisibility cloak in the corridor that led to the department of mysteries. He felt cold, hungry, tired and his legs were stiff from standing for so long.

From what Dumbledore had told them, he had a good idea that Voldemort's next move while he was remaining hidden other then building up an army, would be to break into the department of mysteries - Snape had confirmed this idea. Inside Dumbledore said there was a place called the hall of prophecy and there lay something that Voldemort desperately wanted. Only the 'Unspeakables' were allowed to enter such a place and for anyone other then them it would be very dangerous, so Remus had been taking his turn for guard duty to make sure no one, Death eater or otherwise could possibly slip in there.

If Voldemort wants the prophecy … stands to reason that its to do with Harry …

Sirius's words rang inside his head and a slight shudder went through him, what could the prophecy possibly hold that Voldemort wanted so much? Dumbledore had refused to say but Remus had a gut feeling that his old headmaster knew more then he was letting on - which he thought was selfish as Harry's life was at stake.

He had briefly entertained the idea that perhaps the rumours of Harry being born with immeasurable dark powers but every time the boy was in his presence the thought was squashed. No, Remus thought, he had long resigned himself to the idea that there was more at work then he could ever understand on his own, but whatever was going on it certainly wasn't Harry's fault. The boy, he concluded, was just plain unlucky.

Remus shifted from one foot to the other in an attempt to ease the stiffness from his legs, the backs of his kneecaps were really beginning to ache. A light shuffling sound met his ears and Remus became instantly still under the cloak, he drew his wand and waited, then into the pool of light cast by the torches burning in brackets on the stone walls was a small brown mouse. It stopped and stood up upon its hind legs and sniffed the air, still Remus was apprehensive, his betrayal by Peter had some how prejudiced him against rodents as a whole and he was always worried when one looked at him for too long.

He almost muttered _'Avada Kedavra'_ the killing curse but held his tongue in time and performed a basic charm that he had done on Peter a year or so ago. If the little mouse was more then he seemed, he would know it in a second. The fur on the mouse's back ruffled like it was caught in a light breeze but it stayed most definitely a mouse. Remus hissed out a breath between his teeth and leant back against the stone wall.

Thoughts that he had been too busy to examine properly during the period between his last guard duty and now swarmed into is brain. He hadn't been able to get a hold of Lykamedes Phoebotimus or any of his family, not his wife, Zeeva nor his daughter, Romula. He had written several letters and had spent weeks out in the south west of the country, passing through most of the county's and still there was no sign of them. He was planning to make his way to their home soon as he could be spared, but he had always thought it polite to let them know he was dropping in.

Unintentionally his mind turned to the Phoebotimus's only child, their daughter Romula. With wild black hair and dark eyes, she had the look of a lunatic hedge witch, but she had taken a particular interest in him.

He had never felt anything remotely romantic towards her but she was his age and he was young at the time, he had spent a whole three weeks of summer sampling her, before returning to his own home. She had been a strange girl, her appetites quite unsettling and then there was her penchant for the dark arts that he shunned. He refused to participate in any dark crafts that she wished to and he remembered on one of the last nights, they hadn't been on speaking terms because of it.

_You're a werewolf, Remus. You are darkness personified, it is our right to use our craft in this way …_

Her voice echoed in his head and he had the same reaction to it as he had had the day she had said them, a curling of his lip in disgust. He had walked away and not seen her again, but he had liked her father very much; he was a good man and knew nothing of his daughters dangerous fascination. His wife was a motherly creature that always seemed to be in ill health due to the effects her monthly changes had upon her.

"Hurry up," Remus muttered to himself, he gave up and slid down he wall to sit on the cold floor; he didn't have a clue who was meant to relieve him but he wished they'd get a move on. Nothing like being in the spooky department of mysteries to make you appreciate the comforts of Sirius's house. Every time he had been on guard duty the corridor had been blissfully quiet, not a soul came down here; so it was unlikely the prophecy would need to be moved at any time. However should the worst happen and it looked as if Voldemort would try to retrieve the prophecy - which Remus thought was a sure thing - Tonks had been able to procure several artfully drawn maps and blueprints of the ministry of magic building and all ways they could possibly get into it. It gave them a slight advantage of being able to get to the prophecy before the death eaters. Slight and risky but still it was a chance.

A noise at the top of the corridor jerked Remus from his thoughts, he jumped to his feet and squinted through the dim light to see who was approaching, he narrowed his eyes; Bode.

He was one of the unspeakables and therefore had more reason then most to be down here, but still at midnight … what was he up to?

Remus held his breath as the sallow skinned, pot marked Bode stopped exactly where he was standing under the cloak, he swallowed silently, his heart beginning to race a little faster and reached for his wand as Bode leant in to him.

"Wotcher, Remus," he grunted quietly, "its me, Tonks."

"Nymphadora?" Remus whispered, immensely relieved, he quickly stowed his wand away, not wanting her to know he was about to hex her to pieces.

"Not Nymphadora!" she whispered back furiously, "Tonks!"

"Whatever in the world are you looking like him for?"

Tonks reached out a hand feeling around, her hand skimmed his midriff before she caught hold of the cloak and held it up for herself to climb under. Once she was under she changed back into her own form, Remus tried not to feel too flustered with her pressed up so close to him, he liked Tonks but he didn't know her very well, what on earth was she doing? Was she … could she be … was she coming on to him?

"I saw Lucius Malfoy in the Atrium just now, I thought I'd had better take cover and I remembered that Bode was an unspeakable -"

"Did he see you?" Remus cut over her sharply and Tonks nodded, as she did the top of her hair which she had now transformed into violet spikes tickled his chin, it also made him much more aware of how close they were, how tall he was to her in comparison. Of course Malfoy … she wasn't coming on to him at all - not that he was disappointed!

"I had to let him see me or more precisely Bode, then he would know he couldn't sneak about unseen."

"Your lucky. He's an expert at the imperius curse, he could of had you, you should be more careful."

For the first time since he had made her acquaintance he saw her eyes flash with dangerously. "I am very capable of handling myself, thank you, Lupin! I didn't get to be the Auror by being stupid -"

Remus hearing the blatant irritation in her voice, realised with an inward wince that he had offended her.

"I may be clumsy but I'm not a fool!" her voice which had started out in furious whispers had now risen to a normal level and she was speaking to him in a tone that reminded him somewhat of Professor McGonagall's, he tried to shush her but it only seemed to aggravate her more.

"And might I add," she continued after a moment of relief when he had thought she had ran out of steam. "If you were any sort of spy you would have made sure I wasn't imperiused before letting me know your location and before putting your wand away!"

She turned away from him her head clipping his chin quite hard and folded her arms of her chest, breathing heavily, she made a certain 'humph!' sound which told him her rant was over.

Remus couldn't think why but the sight of her angry made him want to laugh, he bit his lip to keep himself from making a noise. Then the ridiculous image of the pair of them standing under an invisibility cloak arguing came to his mind and he let out a snort of laughter, Tonks shot him a poisonous look before her lips twitched and she turned away.

"Your right," Remus relented with a grin, "I'm not much of a spy if I didn't even suspect you may have been imperiused."

Tonks didn't say anything so he took it for a sign of encouragement. "Perhaps we should come up with a security question just in case."

Tonks turned to him and raised an eyebrow, "I suppose that's a rather good idea," she admitted grudgingly.

"I am capable of it now and then," he grinned foolishly.

"Ok then you go first, what question should I ask you?" Tonks asked turning to face him, again her head clipping his chin.

"Hmmm, well - How about my favourite colour?" Remus muttered, rubbing his offended chin, but Tonks gave a disgusted snort and he raised an eyebrow.

"That's common knowledge, Remus! - Its dark green."

He frowned. "How do you know?"

Tonks shrugged and answered, or so it seemed to Remus, a little shyly. "I heard you telling the Weasley child, Ron. His brothers had just bought him dress robes and they were talking about a time of it they had trying to pick out a colour that was manly and you said -"

"Dark green," Remus murmured quietly, "not as common as blue and black and not as feminine as red."

"Nor as formal as white."

Remus nodded and pretended to think of another question as they lapsed into silence but his mind was suddenly consumed with a rather pleased thoughts, he was surprised honestly, that she remembered such information about him. Though he would never admit to such a thing but he was actually rather … flattered.

Quite a few minutes had gone past and it really was her shift and surely Lucius Malfoy had legged it by now? Yet he found himself not so tired, the silence was … companionable rather then uncomfortable. She was a nice girl was Tonks, easy to talk to, he had found himself over the short period that he had known her and when she was at the Orders headquarters, gravitating towards her when he wasn't with Sirius. At meal times he was likely to sit across from her or next to her so that she could be included in the conversation, trivial or important. And even those people who found her a bit offbeat, such as Moody were prone to like her, he knew that as cantankerous as Moody was he now looked on the up and coming Auror as his protégé.

She still looked young to be an Auror though, Remus thought to himself, most didn't reach the status as a qualified Auror until at least their mid-thirties; she must be good to be qualified so young. Something he found rather shocking since she was appallingly clumsy, though she made no secret that because of that unfortunate handicap she had almost failed her stealth and tracking unit of her Auror examinations. She almost looked as if she should still be at Hogwarts …

"Boggarts," Remus whispered and she turned her head sharply and anticipating it, Remus jerked back before she could bruise his jaw again. Instead she stepped on his toe.

"Oops, sorry Remus," she grimaced apologetically.

"That can be my question to you," he grinned, "tell me what your boggart takes form of?"

She looked shocked, then she pursed her lips as if thinking, it seemed she was rather reluctant to let on what she feared the most.

"Good question," she said then sighed, "well, lets see my worst fear …. When I see a boggart it always transforms into …" she blushed. "I-its always a-a, bloody hell! Its people telling me that they don't want me anymore. That I've hurt them or that I'm too much trouble and that their leaving me. People I love."

She ended but didn't look around at him and Remus felt a little at a loss for what to say, for some reason he'd expected her to say it was losing her talents as a metamorphmagus or something like that.

"Ok," Remus said quietly and just when he was preparing to say something, anything, another noise. A distant rustling from the top of the corridor made them both back up against the wall under the cloak, Remus drew his wand at the exact moment Tonks did and together they peered into the wavering shadows cast by the torches.

Lucius Malfoy was an easy man to recognise, with his signature long sleek white blond hair and pale, pointed, rat like features he practically glowed as he moved surreptitiously and silently down the hall.

Beside him Tonks was already morphing into a different body, he almost gasped when she transformed herself into an exact replica of Severus Snape. She gave a complex double swirl and flick of her wand and a silent flash of blinding light, harmless and without any side effects except for a odour of sour milk. Remus's brow furrowed she had just performed an incomplete Perimeter curse, the perimeter curse was handy as it stopped anyone from passing over a threshold you have drawn up around yourself. It was more effective then a shield charm as it covered you entirely if you drew a circle around yourself and it rebounded most curses back at its originator.

Under the cover of the flash Tonks or Severus stepped out from under the cloak. Remus remained hidden, his wand ready.

"What are you doing here, Lucius!" Snape demanded and Remus watched Lucius, if it were possible pale further.

"Snape, damn it! I almost cursed you!" Lucius panted stowing away his wand.

"As if!" Snape sneered then cast a casual look behind Lucius, "I repeat, Lucius what are you doing here? Have you orders to be here?"

Lucius flushed. "Of course I've got orders to be here, Snape. Your not the only one that has the Dark Lords ear, you know! Despite what you think!"

Snape raised an arrogant brow and smiled patronisingly. "Of course not, Lucius. I realise as you are a member of the ministry of magic you are an important pawn in the Dark Lord's plans -"

"Pawn!" Lucius raged, his pale eyes bulging, but Snape cut smoothly over him.

"But also as ministry of magic employee and might I add, not of this department, if you were caught down here it would lead to awkward questions. Hindering the Dark Lord's attempts to steal the prophecy. It could be potentially dangerous if you were subjected to trial and if so much suspicion was aroused you were subjected to an 'extraction confession' by the use of Veritaserum … you see how damaging it would be?"

Lucius shifted uneasily and cast a uncomfortable look over his shoulder, Remus held his breath, he was on tender hooks. Part of him wanting just to stun Malfoy just to get rid of the building tension within him, another part wanted to watch in awe just to see how far they could play this. A nervous laugh bubbled up inside his chest, he forced it down with difficulty.

"Come now, Lucius. The Dark Lord did not wish for you to be here tonight, did he?"

"He did!" Lucius protested sounding rather whiny and pathetic, "He - he said to try and retrieve the prophecy at every opportunity and to scout here and gather as much informa -"

"But did he specifically say tonight?" Snape pressed nastily, his eyes gleaming and Lucius went a pale pink. "Go now Lucius before you get us all in trouble!"

Sparing Lucius not another glance Snape turned disdainfully away with Lucius staring indignantly after him.

"You have no right to order me anywhere, Severus!" Malfoy barked his voice hammering off the stone walls. "I have much right to be here as you! Don't think we all don't know what your doing, trying to cosy up to him, trying to get the prophecy all by yourself so you may reap the glories and rewards! Well it won't happen Snape, I tell you, it will not happen!"

"It definitely won't happen if you don't lower your voice, you fool!" Snape hissed back and again Lucius, being put thoroughly in his place, had a rush of blood to the cheeks that merely made him tinge pale pink.

"I'm staying here! And there's nothing you can do to stop me," Lucius said sounding petulant and Snape smiled nastily.

"By all means, Lucius my old friend," Snape did a mock bow and swept his hand in front of him as if to clear the way for Malfoy. "I'll be eager to tell the Dark Lord how you tried endlessly to retrieve the prophecy and halted my mission in the process because you were so ardent."

Lucius looked less keen all of a sudden and Remus who was beginning to sweat a bit under all the pressure was rifling through his mental catalogue of spells that would help himself and Tonks should Lucius prove more persistent and nosy.

As though eager to catch Snape in some insubordinate act and blame him, Lucius burst out.

"What was that flash, eh Severus? When I first came here?"

Snape gave him a condescending look before explaining slowly. "Surely you know the effects one has when tripping up a perimeter spells?" Snape's lip curled, "you were lucky that while invisible I had not completed the spell to its full power otherwise … I believe you know the state a perimeter curse renders its victims?"

Lucius was about to answer when a loud bang erupted and both Snape and Lucius jumped, Snape turned his black eyes on Lucius and barked.

"Get out now! Before someone sees you!"

Lucius turned and made a run for it and was out of the corridor in record time, Snape turned to look at Remus with an expression that he was sure never crossed his features. Unabashed joyous relief and smile a mile wide, Remus shook the hood of the cloak back and grinned back at the Snape morphing back into Tonks. She laid a hand over her heart and let out a breathy laugh.

"Was that bang you?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, I thought he was becoming a bit of a nuisance, how about you?"

Tonks laughed and shook her head, moving towards Remus she tripped and grabbed the cloak almost taking Remus over with her. Instead of exasperation he laughed, everything seemed funny after that escape that could have potentially been a lot worse, had Lucius Malfoy not been eaten up with so many resentments for Snape. According to the real Severus, the Dark Lord had seemingly welcomed him back with open arms and accepting his lies had placed him as his right hand once more.

Remus hefted Tonks to her feet and she gripped his robes, smiling.

"I think you should go and warn someone back at headquarters or something, Remus," Tonks said, her gaze becoming somewhat misted, she cleared her throat and stepped back. "He's going to realise once he's stopped running that Severus Snape was wearing witches robes."

Remus frowned, he wasn't too fond of that idea. "And what if he comes back? You might need help?"

Tonks gave a wry smile and shrugged. "He'll likely as not send me back as a spy, imperiused and now we have our secret question for me you'll know."

Remus just shook his head but the stubborn woman was already taking the cloak out of his hands.

"And then again he might not, he might take you to Voldemort and torture you and kill you!"

"Well if I don't show up you can bet that's what's happened," she said almost brightly and Remus gave her a look as if she had said that Mrs Black was her idol or that she wanted to become a house-elf. "Get on with you now, Remus," she said and then stumbled as she caught the hem of the cloak under her shoe as she tried to swing it round her.

Remus almost chuckled. "You know your not clumsy when your under pressure," he muttered absently before turning and leaving her to her guard duty.

"Night Nymphadora," he called over his shoulder and glanced back, even though she was under the cloak he could feel the wait of her furious stare she was giving him.

"Night wolf-man!" she called back just as he turned the corner but she missed his grin.


	5. Chapter 5

_Remus watched Tonks furtively over his glass of wine as he drank a toast to Hermione and Ron's promotion to school prefects, he hadn't seen her a lot since his last guard duty and he found that his mind turned to her more often then he was comfortable with. Her waist length tomato coloured hair looked surprisingly good on her and he wondered whether she had done so to blend in with the family of red heads currently storming around the kitchen. _

"_- my head of house said I lacked certain necessary qualities," Remus raised his eyes to her once more and caught her casually flinging her hair over her shoulder with a feminine flick._

"_Like what?" Ginny asked her._

"_Like the ability to behave myself."_

_Remus chuckled along with Ginny and Tonks gave him a cheery wink, they had become somewhat pals since their escapade in the department of mysteries with Lucius Malfoy, Snape had reported back to them that Malfoy had figured out that Tonks had been behind that - needless to say he hadn't been overly thrilled that Tonks had impersonated him, he and Tonks had laughed about it together. He had expected Malfoy to make some sort of attack on Tonks but she hadn't said anything, but still it couldn't hurt to ask. Remus wondered what Tonks had been like at school, he was willing to bet she would have been a rebel. Popular too, full of fun and laughter, pretty much like now. Only more innocent perhaps, her body less defined and … Remus felt a blush creep up his face at the direction of his thoughts and took a sip of wine to soak his dry throat._

"_What about you Sirius?"_

_Sirius let out a bark-like laugh telling Ginny he was always in detention and that he, Remus, was the good boy. Remus jerked his head up at the sound of his own name to find Tonks watching him and Sirius again, her smile wide and inviting._

"_I think Dumbledore might have hoped I would have exercised some control over my best friends, I need scarcely say I failed dismally."_

"_Oh, I don't know, Remus," Tonks said with a laugh, "you didn't do __too _bad!" She gifted Sirius with a smile and he found himself feeling a pang of jealousy, this disturbed him. Never once in their entire friendship had Remus ever been jealous of James, a bit envious of his quidditch talent but still in had never been his thing. And Sirius and he had never been in competition, his academic ability never over shadowing Remus's, Sirius was adored by the girls of their year and the years above and below. Still Remus could honestly say his fame had not been something Remus himself had actually sought, yet now while Tonks smiled at her cousin Remus couldn't help wanting Sirius to be out of the room for a bit. And he was sickened at himself for thinking so. It wasn't as if he had any intention of being anything more then friends with Tonks. Remus inwardly gave a bitter laugh, and he doubted very much she thought of him as anything more unless she really liked wolves.

Tonks banged her elbow as she swung her cloak about her shoulders, the silver fastening snagging on her hair, Remus laughed and helped her out of her latest situation. They both stood on the top step outside Grimmauld place, Tonks had mentioned that she was going to walk a little while before disapparating home.

_Why would you ever want to do such a thing, dear? _Molly had said appalled that any witch in her right mind would want to do something like that. _With all the muggers and thieves_, Molly had warned throwing a filthy look at Mundungus.

Tonks had assured them she would be fine but as soon she was outside the room, Molly had berated him to walk her home.

They descended the steps and Remus who had resolved at some point over the night to view Tonks as a friend and someone who needs to be helped because of her youth and inexperience found that walking her home tested his resolve but he would use it to talk to her about Malfoy.

"How's Molly?" Tonks asked anxiously casually linking her arms with his, Remus gritted his teeth against the pleasurable sensation and just as casually slipped out of her reach.

"She's doing fine now, Arthur's calmed her down nicely," Remus said with a sigh, trying to blink away the image of the boggart Harry lying dead on the floor.

"She responds to you though, Remus, she likes you."

"More then Sirius and Dung at least," Tonks chuckled quietly before saying.

"Yes, but you gentle, Remus, people respond to that in you."

This time Remus laughed but it was bitter and mirthless even though he hadn't meant it to be that way.

"A gentle werewolf, how strange."

Tonks stopped walking and Remus had walked at least five steps before he realised, he turned and saw she was standing, staring at him with a strange expression.

"What's the matter?"

She open and closed her mouth several times as if deciding what to say then she suddenly blurted out. "Your not defined by your condition, Remus. The werewolf isn't who you are."

"Yes, Tonks, it is," Remus said firmly, walking closer to her and looking her dead in the eye, wanting her to understand, "don't ever think any different. If it were the full moon now and I would stand before you as a wolf! A vicious wolf that would think nothing more of ripping your head off and draining you dry, it will always be a big part of who I am."

"But you shouldn't let it hold you back -"

"That's very easy for you to say!" Remus said tersely and whatever she was about to say was caught in her throat, he expected she was shocked; he had never spoken sharply to her before, Tonks swallowed and nodded.

"Well, I should be getting home - no, its ok, its too cold to walk anyway," she said when Remus was going to begin walking again, he watched her turn on the spot and disapparate in a whirl of red hair and then he was standing in the empty street.

Remus tried to be angry at Tonks, who was she to talk about something she had no way of understanding, but he couldn't keep it up. He blew out a breath and not feeling up to talking to anyone just yet, made his way back by foot.

Remus made his way up the steps to twelve Grimmauld place and tapped lightly on the door, Molly opened it, her eyes weren't as puffy as they had been when he had left but still red, not willing to talk he just said a short yes, when she inquired whether Tonks got home alright. He escaped quickly upstairs and made a conscious effort not to slam the door of his temporary bedroom, not because it was completely childish but more because he didn't think he could take Mrs Black screeching her obscenities while his head was throbbing like mad.

Damn! Remus hissed out a breath through his teeth, the full moon wasn't too far away, a week or so. Remus would have to rummage through Sirius's mother's supplies in hopes for the right ingredients for the wolf bane potion.

A rustling by the partially opened window drew his attention on the sill stood a sleek black owl, Remus pushed the window open further and it hopped in. It eyed him with mean yellow eyes and reluctantly held out its scaly leg where a slightly muddied scroll was tied there. Remus untied it and the owl took off and was lost in the night.

_Dear Remus_, (it read in a small, untidy hand)

_Its been such a long time, you never visit us anymore! Father, mother and I are in Rome visiting some friends we made while travelling last summer, they're werewolves too by the way. Mother isn't well as usual_

- Remus remembered clearly that Romula had little time for her mothers distaste for the monthly changes -

_father is happy enough. From what your letter told us you've been writing non stop, I suppose we'll find the house bulging with them when we come back, won't we?_

_Rome is a haven for our kind Remus, its laws on weres especially are very lax, you should visit here Remus, if your not still trying to find a job with all those normal wizards. I cannot wait to embrace the change of the moon here amongst our kin, it will be a experience I doubt any will forget._

_I hope this letter finds you well, are you married yet? Children? Write back and let me know, won't you?_

_We won't be back in Devon until after Christmas, I'll write to you when we are back so you may come and visit us. _

_Yours always, _

_Romula Phoebotimus _

Remus crushed the letter in his hand and could almost hear Romula's shrieking laugh from the coliseum itself. She must have had a real game writing this letter, was he married yet? Did he have children? A growl escaped him and he quickly looked around as if someone were there, he never wanted anyone to catch him acting anything other then human. Romula always had a vicious streak in her, she had once heard Remus tell her father that he never intended to marry or create a family, so his disease would never be inflicted upon another, no matter how much he may want a family of his own. Romula had taunted him mercilessly over it, even now anger coursed through him that she would rub it in his face again. He threw the letter on the bedside table and flung himself down on the bed, staring up at the dismal, moth eaten canopy above the bed Remus could not stop himself thinking of Tonks. A howl welled in his throat but he forced it down. No matter how much Romula might call him a coward and a fool, he would never threaten anyone's life and make them like him.

Ever. He would be forever alone.

Remus twirled his quill lightly in his fingers and stared at the parchment, he was writing a letter specifically to Lykamedes himself, he had found it odd that in a return letter it had been written by Romula instead of her father, who Remus knew had always had an affection for him. Perhaps his wife was more ill then usual? Perhaps he simply hadn't liked Remus as much as he had perceived on his visits to their home? It wasn't a thought he much liked but it was a possibility.

"Merlin's beard, Remus," Sirius moaned sleepily from the other side of the table where he sat lounging back gracefully in a chair with his feet perched on the table. "Its almost Christmas, can't you put that thing down."

Sirius had his eyes closed and his fingers were locked behind his neck and Remus made a face at him before he flung the quill from him blotting his letter.

"They should be back from visiting Arthur soon, shouldn't they?" He asked, rubbing hands over his face yawning.

"Hmm, traffics always hectic on the run up to Christmas," Sirius replied sleepily, "I hope seeing Arthur makes Harry realise that he actually saved the man."

"What do you mean?"

"He's convinced himself that he was responsible for Arthur's attack in someway, says that he saw it all from inside the snake and therefore he thinks its he's fault. I've tried to convince him its nothing to do with him but takes so much on to himself."

Remus ran a hand over his chin surprised to find stubble there, "Dumbledore seemed convinced something bad like this was going to happen -" Remus began to say but looked enquiringly at Sirius when he snorted with derision.

"What?"

"Him. Dumbledore. You would think he would let Harry know to expect something like this!"

"And what would that accomplish, Sirius?" Remus asked conversationally, "other then scaring the poor boy to death."

"Oh, come off it, Remus! He has no idea what's just happened, we can't tell him for certain because we don't know and the only person who does know is conveniently keeping quiet and well out of Harry's way. So putting all that together and you were Harry, how would you feel? Because I tell you I'd be scared to close my eyes again!"

Remus clucked his tongue thoughtfully and nodded his head, "your right. He should have been prepared for this if Dumbledore suspected something like this could happen. Bloody hell!"

Remus suddenly put his head in his hands and Sirius sat up properly looking worried, "what is it?"

"I was just thinking," Remus muttered between his fingers, "I've been spending too much time with Molly, I'm coddling him like she does. I, of all people, knowing how much he has faced should realise he should be prepared."

Sirius laughed and turned his head to the sound of the door opening and a stampede of feet clattering through the hallway, and Molly came bustling in to the kitchen, her cheeks as red as her hair followed closely by the twins, Ron and Ginny.

"Oh, you're here too, Remus!" Molly sounded delighted and Sirius past him a smirk, which Remus ignored.

"How's Arthur, Molly?" He asked, ducking as she sent her wand flicking this way and that, household spells shooting out sending pots and potatoes soaring overhead.

"Oh, he's doing much better, he's sitting up and everything. Funny enough, Remus, he has a man in the opposite bed who's been bitten by a werewolf."

Remus grimaced sympathetically and made a note to go with them on their next visit.

"Give him my best wishes, won't you, Molly," Sirius sighed scratching at a burn hole in the table and looked around with a frown. "Where's Harry?"

"Upstairs, the poor love didn't feel well on the way back, looked very pale. So I sent him upstairs to bed."

Remus and Sirius exchanged knowing looks behind her back, Ron had just dropped down beside Sirius when a loud crash from outside the kitchen made them collectively wince, Ron choked on his yawn and spluttered while everyone else sighed exasperatedly, "Tonks."

"Sorry," came a pathetic sounding wail that was mostly drowned out by a sudden screech of "Blood traitors, defilers of my house!"

Remus stood up casually as though he was indifferent about having to go and help Tonks, but when no one stood or offered to go and do it for him he quickened his pace until he was out in the hallway and consciously shut the door on the rest of them. Tonks was pulling herself up and trying to stand up the trolls leg at the same time, Remus efficiently stunned Mrs Black before leaning down to help her up.

"I'm beginning to think that thing moves just to find my foot!" she moaned massaging her elbow, "it's the bane of my existence!"

Remus smiled, it was the second time they had really been alone together after their talk before the start of the school year, after that guard duties had picked up more, her work was taking her time up and when they did finally happen in the same room together Ginny came running in two second before Tonks could say anything.

"Where are the others?" He asked helping her retrieve several scattered umbrellas.

"Moody didn't want to stay, he just saw us here and left and Dung needed to put the car back," she paused then and gave him a grin, "I just doubt he'll put back where he found it."

Remus smirked, "If he was any type of crook then it'd be a sin if he did. I'd personally be a bit disappointed if he did actually."

She laughed and for some reason Remus felt as if something heavy had taken leave of his chest and he suddenly breathed easier.

"Mad-eye was having a paranoia trip in the hospital though."

"Don't tell me he hexed a healer?"

"No, just going on about Harry being possessed by you-know-who -"

"He said that?" Remus shook his head, the others might find Tonks tiring but he personally found Mad-eye more so, you couldn't even tap a tune out with your wand without him thinking you might be working for the dark side.

"The rest of us tried to explain that Dumbledore wouldn't let Harry endanger himself or others if he thought that was happening, but you know him. He's not content unless he's accused someone of something." She blew out a breath and Remus helped her out of her cloak, he had never seen her really irritated before. "Having said that I suppose he is teaching me things about being an Auror so …"

Remus nodded understanding and playfully tugged on one of her locks of pink hair, rather then being spikes she had let them grow into tight curls that were looking rather windswept at that precise moment, and Remus was thankful she wasn't any good at legilimens, because he also thought she looked rather beautiful as well. He was about to lead the way into the kitchen when he stopped and turned back to her.

"Since when do you call Voldemort you-know-who?"

"Oh," she laughed, "I thought it was easier then watching all the Weasleys wince every time I say his name."

Remus pursed his lips, he would have thought that being in the order would have made them harden to it and he said so.

"Not everyone is as brave as you, wolf," Tonks said with a kindly smile, she was the only one that really called him that, he had heard others call him it in the past but she used it more as an endearment then an insult or nickname, he rather liked it. Her smile suddenly brightened.

"Speaking of which, I heard you've been in contact with the family of werewolves. Are you going to see them?"

"Sometime after Christmas I expect, I have to wait for their say so."

Tonks nodded, "can I come too?"

Remus frowned at her but her grin only widened winningly. "I suppose you could …" he replied cautiously and Tonks reached up and hugged him, shocked by her his response was rather delayed when he gingerly put his arms around her.

"Well, just tell me when you want me," she said brightly letting him go.

_Right now_, Remus thought to himself but just cleared his throat and nodded, gentlemanly holding the kitchen door open for her.


End file.
